[She understands what he's getting at, and who he's defending. Doesn't blame him for it either. It's not like Daisy never questioned SHIELD's motives before. She won't defend herself again though, because he knows why she got so heated with Bucky in that chat the other day. At some point she should probably talk with him about it.
Shit.
Of course they don't know.]
You knew him?
[There has to be a reason he or Fury never told anyone, so is it really her place to say anything?]
[Well that’s like a punch to the gut. Maybe it wasn’t her secret to tell, but does she really have anything to lose now? He’s dead. The real Coulson anyway.]
It is. He—
[Daisy looks towards the floor, arms tightening around herself.]
[ A slow breath. Sam looks up at the ceiling, muscles in his jaw clenching, then unclenching.
Some people died never quite forgiving themselves for the loss of Coulson. Carrying that death like a brand through their life. ]
Right. That's... Right.
I don't think I gotta tell you how many levels of fucked up that is and why, right? 'cause Steve never stopped blaming himself, and SHIELD just went right in for the human experimentation.
You really surprised Bucky would make the comparison to HYDRA? Really?
See, getting in trouble with your club for standing up against their bullshit is the kinda attitude I can get behind.
[ He crosses his arms loosely, not a defensive posture but one he typically adopts to steady himself, to give himself time for his thoughts for a moment. His eyes are not unkind when he looks at her. ]
Look... I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. Don't discuss the Winter Soldier program on the public network. I don't care if Bucky doesn't give a shit about people knowing - I give a shit about him, and I don't need the general public to have access to his trauma. And don't... don't slap HYDRA shit in his face as an argument, alright? I ain't gonna judge you for your pain - hell, I empathize, and I'm sorry for what HYDRA put you through... but you gotta accept that we ain't gonna join the SHIELD fanclub, and when we judge them for the shit they pulled, it ain't a judgment of you as a person. What good SHIELD may or may not do in an alternative timeline has no bearing on the experiences any of us have had, and the fact that SHIELD has pulled crap damn near level with what HYDRA pulled, 'cause they were one and the same for a good long while. It's good that they get it together - sadly, I don't think the same holds true for things back where we are from. So I'mma need you to not take it personally. We've earned the right not to be fans of the organization, and you ain't gonna convince either of us that SHIELD's gotten better if you fly off the handle over Bucky being justifiably jaded and sharp over it. You've chosen to affiliate yourself with an organization some of us have legitimate grievances with. You gotta learn to stomach that and not feel the need to get defensive - it ain't about you.
[ Sam keeps his voice gentle as he says it. This isn't a dressing down, he's not angry. He just needs her to understand, because frankly he's not sure he's got enough patience for more teenage drama just because he's not a fan of the organization that did human experimentation to revive a man whose death haunted Steve Rogers to the end, and chose not to tell anyone about it.
He's not gonna be a fan of the man who chose to live his second life without getting back in touch either, but... that's perhaps left for him to discuss with Tasha and Bucky for now. ]
I try to judge people on their actions, not their affiliations. 'Cause out here it doesn't matter that you're SHIELD. Doesn't matter if anyone aboard loves or hates SHIELD. Doesn't matter that I'm Captain America, either. What matters is how you treat people - mine and others.
I know. All that stuff I said? That basically all just went down right before I ended up here and it just hit too close to home.
[Losing her mother is literally the reason she's here. She agreed to do whatever they want just to have another chance at a relationship with her mother.]
And I appreciate that you're looking out for him. Think he'd give me a chance to apologize to him?
[Her eyebrows lift when he mentions about being Captain America.]
I definitely want to hear more about that because, wow--
[ He doesn't know, and doesn't ask - but it doesn't feel like he has to. Some regrets are readily obvious, after all. ]
Can't promise he won't be prickly, but I think you should talk to him. Hell, if you guys arrive at a healthy 'agree to disagree' that'd be pretty damn alright.
[ Sam nods slightly at her comment about the huge deal. Oh... she doesn't know the half of it. Though maybe she understands the edges and fringes of it all. ]
Pretty damn new, too. Used to be just a dude with a fancy jetpack. Guess now I'm just a dude with a fancy jetpack and a fancy frisbee.
Yeah, with me. But lemme assure you: That idea you're having right now? I don't think it's a good one. Just text him to test the waters.
[ It's unlikely Bucky will be overly kind, but that's just part of the charm. Definitely worse if she ambushes him in person, where he can't just walk away as easily.
Even then there's a chance it might backfire. But that's something for these two to hash out between them. ]
Didn't Bucky say? Steve Rogers retired to the moon, passed the shield along.
[ And there's a quiet, happy sort of pride in that. They've come a long way, and Sam is more than glad for it. He hadn't quite realized how badly he needed someone in his corner until Bucky positioned himself there resolutely. ]
Well, the important bit is the shield part.
[ It's become second nature to obfuscate what really happened. Steve's happy ending is a private thing, a story Sam doesn't intend to spread. ]
[ What an honor indeed. Though Sam doesn't judge her ignorance there - she's a woman and not exactly a white one either, so while she certainly can't understand what it's meant for a black man, Sam knows her own life and experience must have allowed for a slightly broader perspective that relates closer to him than, say, Bucky. ]
The symbol's heavier than the shield. Vibranium's got some heft, but it feels lighter than it has any right being.
[ The same can't be said for Bucky's arm, but a solid shoulder to fingertip contraption with electronics and sensors cased in vibranium isn't exactly the same thing - and Sam knows that with this arm, Bucky's a touch lighter than he was with Hydra's chrome contraption. ]
[ Sam looks more curious about that than doubtful. He never knew Coulson personally, only through what Steve told him. Still can't believe the man never bothered to let the Avengers know he was alive, but... Sam also knows he has no context there. ]
Steve mentioned he was a fan. Had trading cards of Steve and everything?
[ Was. So that resurrection experiment didn't last, huh. It's par for the course in this job description, Sam supposes. Few of them get to live long, happy lives.
He gives her a small nod - sympathy and understanding. ]
And you don't think he'd be disappointed it ain't Rogers anymore?
Duly noted. It's really not all that, though. I've worn the mantle for all of three seconds before all this happened.
[ Not the full truth, but... well. Officially, he's had one outing as Captain America. He's not about to tell Agent Flower Girl all about his struggles with the mantle and what it took to get there. ]
Wouldn't do to roll up in the good old Falcon getup now, would it?
[ Nevermind that the wings got torn off and just the thought of strapping those wings back on felt sickening. A violation in spirit more than in anything physical, and yet... it's why he entrusted the old wings to Torres. Let him be the next coming of Riley, while Sam becomes something else. ]
[How she managed to get anything beyond what she had been wearing at the time to come here with her was still confusing, but at least she has a change of clothes?]
I don't know, I think the wings could work to your advantage.
Thankfully. The full get up. Shield, suit, gimmicks... new wings, too.
[ He throws her a grin at that, easy enough. ]
Falcon wings got retired, but I got replacement. Captain America can have wings, I figure. Plus, anything that gives me an edge to keep pace with the super-powered people out there.
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[She understands what he's getting at, and who he's defending. Doesn't blame him for it either. It's not like Daisy never questioned SHIELD's motives before. She won't defend herself again though, because he knows why she got so heated with Bucky in that chat the other day. At some point she should probably talk with him about it.
Shit.
Of course they don't know.]
You knew him?
[There has to be a reason he or Fury never told anyone, so is it really her place to say anything?]
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[ It's always been a sore subject for Steve. People like Sam and Steve do not forgive themselves the losses they couldn't prevent. ]
Never met the man. So it was the same Coulson you met?
[ Something about that timeline... ]
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It is. He—
[Daisy looks towards the floor, arms tightening around herself.]
SHIELD brought him back to life. It was—
Awful.
I met him after all of that happened.
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Some people died never quite forgiving themselves for the loss of Coulson. Carrying that death like a brand through their life. ]
Right. That's... Right.
I don't think I gotta tell you how many levels of fucked up that is and why, right? 'cause Steve never stopped blaming himself, and SHIELD just went right in for the human experimentation.
You really surprised Bucky would make the comparison to HYDRA? Really?
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[Daisy finally meets his eyes now that she's told him.]
SHIELD was different before the fall, before Coulson became Director. There was a lot of things I didn't agree with, and I got in trouble for it.
[Doesn't help that she, technically, wasn't a SHIELD agent until literally right before SHIELD fell.]
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See, getting in trouble with your club for standing up against their bullshit is the kinda attitude I can get behind.
[ He crosses his arms loosely, not a defensive posture but one he typically adopts to steady himself, to give himself time for his thoughts for a moment. His eyes are not unkind when he looks at her. ]
Look... I'm gonna need you to do me a favor. Don't discuss the Winter Soldier program on the public network. I don't care if Bucky doesn't give a shit about people knowing - I give a shit about him, and I don't need the general public to have access to his trauma. And don't... don't slap HYDRA shit in his face as an argument, alright? I ain't gonna judge you for your pain - hell, I empathize, and I'm sorry for what HYDRA put you through... but you gotta accept that we ain't gonna join the SHIELD fanclub, and when we judge them for the shit they pulled, it ain't a judgment of you as a person. What good SHIELD may or may not do in an alternative timeline has no bearing on the experiences any of us have had, and the fact that SHIELD has pulled crap damn near level with what HYDRA pulled, 'cause they were one and the same for a good long while. It's good that they get it together - sadly, I don't think the same holds true for things back where we are from. So I'mma need you to not take it personally. We've earned the right not to be fans of the organization, and you ain't gonna convince either of us that SHIELD's gotten better if you fly off the handle over Bucky being justifiably jaded and sharp over it. You've chosen to affiliate yourself with an organization some of us have legitimate grievances with. You gotta learn to stomach that and not feel the need to get defensive - it ain't about you.
[ Sam keeps his voice gentle as he says it. This isn't a dressing down, he's not angry. He just needs her to understand, because frankly he's not sure he's got enough patience for more teenage drama just because he's not a fan of the organization that did human experimentation to revive a man whose death haunted Steve Rogers to the end, and chose not to tell anyone about it.
He's not gonna be a fan of the man who chose to live his second life without getting back in touch either, but... that's perhaps left for him to discuss with Tasha and Bucky for now. ]
I try to judge people on their actions, not their affiliations. 'Cause out here it doesn't matter that you're SHIELD. Doesn't matter if anyone aboard loves or hates SHIELD. Doesn't matter that I'm Captain America, either. What matters is how you treat people - mine and others.
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[Losing her mother is literally the reason she's here. She agreed to do whatever they want just to have another chance at a relationship with her mother.]
And I appreciate that you're looking out for him. Think he'd give me a chance to apologize to him?
[Her eyebrows lift when he mentions about being Captain America.]
I definitely want to hear more about that because, wow--
That's a huge deal.
[And honor.]
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Can't promise he won't be prickly, but I think you should talk to him. Hell, if you guys arrive at a healthy 'agree to disagree' that'd be pretty damn alright.
[ Sam nods slightly at her comment about the huge deal. Oh... she doesn't know the half of it. Though maybe she understands the edges and fringes of it all. ]
Pretty damn new, too. Used to be just a dude with a fancy jetpack. Guess now I'm just a dude with a fancy jetpack and a fancy frisbee.
[ He grins, shifting the shield in his grip. ]
What do you wanna hear about that?
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[Because it's probably better to do this kind of thing in person.]
Uh--
[There's not anywhere to really sit, so Daisy moves to lean against the wall.]
Everything? How did this all happen?
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[ It's unlikely Bucky will be overly kind, but that's just part of the charm. Definitely worse if she ambushes him in person, where he can't just walk away as easily.
Even then there's a chance it might backfire. But that's something for these two to hash out between them. ]
Didn't Bucky say? Steve Rogers retired to the moon, passed the shield along.
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[There’s no judgement to her tone, if anything, she wishes she had someone here that she knew on a personal level. At least they have each other.]
I’ll try that first.
[If he hasn’t found a way to block her number. She’s still getting used to how all of that works here.]
I thought he was pulling my leg.
[Honestly? She thinks Sam is too because maybe they don’t want to tell the truth.]
About the moon part.
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[ And there's a quiet, happy sort of pride in that. They've come a long way, and Sam is more than glad for it. He hadn't quite realized how badly he needed someone in his corner until Bucky positioned himself there resolutely. ]
Well, the important bit is the shield part.
[ It's become second nature to obfuscate what really happened. Steve's happy ending is a private thing, a story Sam doesn't intend to spread. ]
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What an honor that must’ve been for you. Also, you know, maybe terrifying to have that much responsibility.
[She doesn’t know him well enough to be able to guess how he might’ve reacted.]
Seems like you got a good handle on using the shield though. Is it as heavy as I imagined it being?
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The symbol's heavier than the shield. Vibranium's got some heft, but it feels lighter than it has any right being.
[ The same can't be said for Bucky's arm, but a solid shoulder to fingertip contraption with electronics and sensors cased in vibranium isn't exactly the same thing - and Sam knows that with this arm, Bucky's a touch lighter than he was with Hydra's chrome contraption. ]
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[Being the symbol for a nation like that.]
Coulson would be freaking out right now.
[And for clarity's sake--]
In a good way.
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[ Sam looks more curious about that than doubtful. He never knew Coulson personally, only through what Steve told him. Still can't believe the man never bothered to let the Avengers know he was alive, but... Sam also knows he has no context there. ]
Steve mentioned he was a fan. Had trading cards of Steve and everything?
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[Daisy's smile falters as she breaks eye contact with Sam briefly.]
He collected so much stuff over the years, I never really got the whole collecting thing, but it made him happy.
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He gives her a small nod - sympathy and understanding. ]
And you don't think he'd be disappointed it ain't Rogers anymore?
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[You know, if his life hadn’t been kept secret from the Avengers.]
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[ Not the full truth, but... well. Officially, he's had one outing as Captain America. He's not about to tell Agent Flower Girl all about his struggles with the mantle and what it took to get there. ]
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You get a suit?
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[ With vibranium wings and all. ]
Wouldn't do to roll up in the good old Falcon getup now, would it?
[ Nevermind that the wings got torn off and just the thought of strapping those wings back on felt sickening. A violation in spirit more than in anything physical, and yet... it's why he entrusted the old wings to Torres. Let him be the next coming of Riley, while Sam becomes something else. ]
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[How she managed to get anything beyond what she had been wearing at the time to come here with her was still confusing, but at least she has a change of clothes?]
I don't know, I think the wings could work to your advantage.
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[ He throws her a grin at that, easy enough. ]
Falcon wings got retired, but I got replacement. Captain America can have wings, I figure. Plus, anything that gives me an edge to keep pace with the super-powered people out there.
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[A tiny smile tugs at Daisy's lips when he mentions just trying to be able to keep up with super-powered people.]
For a guy who doesn't, as far as I know, have super serum in him? You're pretty impressive from what I can see.
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