jesus nat, I'm a bit of a dick for comedic purposes, not a full on asshole.
[ He meant what he said. And he's glad she's having fun- overprotective instincts of an older brother aside.
But... ]
I mean when we go, prematurely or when finishing our job, we won't remember ever having been here. the time we got here is all the time we get with... whatever it is we're doing. fun. friends. family.
[ It's been rotating in his mind, a thought slowly circling the drain. Even when he's happy. Even when he should be in the here and now, just existing and just being glad about everything he's gained. But he cannot help it - to be the person who looks to the future and tries to stare inevitability into submission. ]
we do
[ he doesn't write more for a while. And then: ]
I think I might change that. not remembering, I mean.
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[A pause then, a little unsure about that last line. If she shoudl respond to it at all, really.
But after a slight hesitation, she does ask.]
How do you mean?
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[ He meant what he said. And he's glad she's having fun- overprotective instincts of an older brother aside.
But... ]
I mean when we go, prematurely or when finishing our job, we won't remember ever having been here. the time we got here is all the time we get with... whatever it is we're doing. fun. friends. family.
[ Lovers. ]
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They were having fun, and she has no intention of dragging down Sam's good mood. One which he absolutely deserves.]
Not a problem I've thought much about. It's fine.
We have this now.
And you should be enjoying it.
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we do
[ he doesn't write more for a while. And then: ]
I think I might change that. not remembering, I mean.
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well
not like a plan. just an idea. I don't know if it's even possible, and I don't know that I'd be willing to pay a price
but if I could, I'd want to remember all of this. everything with bucky. the extra time with you. yelena. everything we've experienced here.
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That kind of bargain doesn't come cheap.