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[unclesam]

INBOX

sam wilson
un: s.wilson

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TESSISAMESS

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[unclesam]

[ Bucky's... on a supply run, so Sam has a break. Mercy, some would say. He knows better. Oh, does he know better. He smirks at the message though. ]

oh, you fishing for something here?
don't quite got my land legs back to working order so I put myself on bed rest. you know how responsible I am about taking care of myself.


[ He's so funny. ]

[deaddrop]

o is that it

You've convinced me.

I'm convinced.

[unclesam]

yeah that's your convinced face, I can tell even via text

go on. i know you wanna tease about this.

[deaddrop]

I am teasing you about this.

Have to get it in now before I'm looking at that idiot grin that's going to be plastered on both of your faces.

[unclesam]

I'm never gonna leave this room again, just so I don't give you the satisfaction
just gonna send old man buccaneer on more supply runs.

[deaddrop]

Here and I figured you'd be happy to get back out and gloat.

Don't pretend you're not in a good mood.

[unclesam]

nah you don't I don't gloat. I will be tastefully, horrifically, obnoxiously smug. y'know, once I can walk or think again.

that is to say I'm in the BEST mood

though now that I got you, you could actually do me a small favor

[deaddrop]

If you need a snack, you're going to have to wait for Bucky.

I'm not going in that room until it's had a chance to air out.

[unclesam]

very funny

nah, just. how're things in the infirmary? 'cause without mccoy here... I mean, if they need me, I'm ditching the energizer bunny.

[ Someone's feeling a bit bad for taking time off and enjoying himself. ]

[deaddrop]

Ah. All right, I'll give you that one.

I'll let you know if they need help in there.

As far as I know, there's no rush. I think they'll be okay for a while.

[unclesam]

[ He doesn't reply for a moment, just feels at that wound. More people lost, people he'd considered himself close to. People he'd cared about. He's trying to gauge the level of pain he's pretending not to be in here. ]

thanks tasha, I appreciate it

now, circling back to airing out rooms

do you think if I recruit bucky to join me in giving winchester a shovel talk it'll still be funny or actually fuck the man up?

[deaddrop]

Why would you need to give him a talk?

[unclesam]

for my own personal amusement
we ain't playing coy here, right?

[deaddrop]

Far be it from me to tell you what to do with your free time.

But there's nothing to play coy about.

[unclesam]

you holding out on me? 'cause if I stepped on something in an uncool way, you're contractually obligated to tell me

[deaddrop]

Nothing to step on, Sam. I have fun. On my down time.

But I'm not looking for anything serious.

So I'm not going to find anything serious.

Nothing to talk about.

[unclesam]

yeah, I hear you. and if there's anyone who's earned the right for some good ol' fun, it's you.

[ It's not how he's worked for a long time. It's been long years of no one before Bucky. But that said, he does understand it. ]

I'll find a better angle for teasing you 'bout this

and hey on the upside, we ain't gonna remember any of this anyway.

[ It's a downside, unquestionably so. At least for Sam, on all fronts possible. ]

[deaddrop]

If you're expecting me to be ashamed, you're going to be in for a lot of disappointment.

[A pause then, a little unsure about that last line. If she shoudl respond to it at all, really.

But after a slight hesitation, she does ask.]

How do you mean?

[unclesam]

jesus nat, I'm a bit of a dick for comedic purposes, not a full on asshole.

[ He meant what he said. And he's glad she's having fun- overprotective instincts of an older brother aside.

But... ]

I mean when we go, prematurely or when finishing our job, we won't remember ever having been here. the time we got here is all the time we get with... whatever it is we're doing. fun. friends. family.

[ Lovers. ]

[deaddrop]

[It's a little late to avoid the topic completely, but Natasha feels the sudden urge to pump the brakes, turn the conversation around.

They were having fun, and she has no intention of dragging down Sam's good mood. One which he absolutely deserves.]

Not a problem I've thought much about. It's fine.

We have this now.

And you should be enjoying it.

[unclesam]

[ It's been rotating in his mind, a thought slowly circling the drain. Even when he's happy. Even when he should be in the here and now, just existing and just being glad about everything he's gained. But he cannot help it - to be the person who looks to the future and tries to stare inevitability into submission. ]

we do

[ he doesn't write more for a while. And then: ]

I think I might change that. not remembering, I mean.

[deaddrop]

How are you thinking that? You're planning something?

[unclesam]

no, no
well
not like a plan. just an idea. I don't know if it's even possible, and I don't know that I'd be willing to pay a price

but if I could, I'd want to remember all of this. everything with bucky. the extra time with you. yelena. everything we've experienced here.

[deaddrop]

In this case I might like it better since it's not a plan.

That kind of bargain doesn't come cheap.